Stupid Is As Stupid Doesn't Do

I'm not even sure what to name this entry this early in the morning, it being 1:12 am. It is unlike me to be up this late at night, especially when I have to work the next day. My mind seems to have become a whirlwind of late, and the best medicine I have found is to stay extremely busy with work and summer obligations, such as a garden. But even that comes to a halt, leaving me with extra time. If the truth be known, I have been doing everything in the world for others and certainly not taking the time to do for myself or doing what I should be doing all along. My weight loss program for example. I seem to allow everything else to take front row but this at the moment, thus me becoming sad over not doing something I know needs to be done. I seem to be at a loss over this. Reality is a hard lesson at times, especially when it slaps the chit right out of you. Sometimes to be right out beaten is better than being beaten down by emotions and drama. Heck, I know it is. Somehow, I seem to be able to become involved in it and never know it is actually going on. All I simply have to do is ask a question. Any question. Perhaps, an even better term would be , trusting that everything is always upfront, upscale, sincere, that enters my life, when all along it isn't, hasn't been and probably never will be. However, there are a few who are the exception to the rule. I don't do well with drama, ever. I do well in a restful environment. One, where I can be laid back, and be myself, without having to pretend I'm someone else, or that I have to worry about being with people who actually like me or actually want to be around me. I refused to play that game long ago in my life, burning those old recordings that I rewound for many years. Recently, those old past recordings have tried to resurface and to a degree did. You know, those about the self esteem, the love hate relationship with ones soul, feeling worthy, accepted, loved, what the hell ever.... right? The list could go on and on if one allowed it, but I find more importantly in the old recordings resurfacing, is being aware they have and doing an inventory of oneself and finding out just what has caused this. Then comes the removal from it. That is when the healing starts to take place. Forest Gump said it best: 'Stupid is, as stupid does" However, perhaps it's best to add "doesn't do"